Friday, April 27, 2007

reverse aapu raisal

Please make sure that you read the previous post before this.

Mala run...

Now, a rapid temporal resequencing of events - athu onnum illa, what if those events happened in a different sequence...

That fateful day.
Tidel Park.
07:38:47 PM

Someone shouts "Mala, the Manager wants you in his office immediately!!"

"Best of luck,di. Night treatukku The Park-ku poiduvomo?" Muffled voice from the seat nearby.

"Children's park ku kooda kedayaathu. velaya paarudi. un engagement treat-a mothalla mudi. aprom paakkalaam".

07:39:06 PM

Buzz. Buzzz.

Mala picks up her mobile.

"Hi Mala, this is Swathi Palekar from Macrosoft. I m very happy to inform you that you have been selected. Welcome to Macrosoft!"

"Oh, thanks a lot Swathi."


07:40:54 PM

Mala saunters to the rest room, humming to herself. Takes her own sweet time to wash up her face. Then she pours out the "Essentials of the Super Girl" from her handbag. Applies some foundation and then raises the building, layer by layer with the nonchalance of a makeup expert. In the process, adding her huge share to the profits of Garnier.

"Hey Mala, unna manager thedittu irunthaaru di. Seekiram po..."

"mmm. ok ok... polaam polaam enna avasaram..."

08:02:13 PM

Just pushes herself through the doors of the manager's cabin.


“Hey Abhijit, How you doing?”

"umm. Ya. Great. Please come in, Mala. Take your seat. So worried about your appraisal huh?."

“Do I look like I’m worried?”

"Nah nah. Just asked. Anyway. First of all, let me congratulate you. You have been promoted as Project Manager. How do you feel?"

"mmhm. So another intangible item? Hope it translates into something real hard and nice."


“Nothing. I meant Money.”

“Oh ok. You totally deserve the promotion. Keep up the good work."

"Hahaha. Yeah I know. Thanks for acknowledging that. Then…"

"Ummm. As you would have already known from my address a week ago, last fiscal has been terrific for our company. Thanks to hardworking people like you. Of course, you would got the Color TV gift we gave to our employees, right? After all, TVs are bigger and better than those ishods na?" Wink.

"Oh yeah. Better we can cut all this BS and move ahead. But tell me something. Did you get those TVs from the ration shops or the party office? I saw some marks on the set."

"Ah... Ah…Well honestly I don’t have any idea. Let’s leave that aside. So what do you think? I mean what is your expectation regarding the hike."

"Well, I don't think worrying about % hike really matters. I think I should be getting CTC of about XX lakhs."

"Oh dear... dear. I think the figure won't be as high as you think." Slowly glances through the paper in his hand. “Let me see what you have got. But, the hike isn't what you expected. It is a bit less.”

"So you, I mean the management doesn’t really want me to stay, uh?"

"NO. No. Nothing like that. We always would like to have hardworking people like you here.”

“Yeh. And pay them peanuts…? And if you can just let me go through MY appraisal paper…”

“Sure. Here you go. As you know, we have gone through a lot of discussions regarding the compensation philosophy. We have conducted market compensation survey to ensure that you are compensated at market rates."

" You mean my salary was decided based on a compensation survey? Was it done in 2007? Are you sure?"


“You must be kidding. And how come I got promoted when this paper says I have got below average rating?”

08:24:36 PM

"I would love to give you a higher rating, considering your good work. But, it seems your current PM says you still need to improve your communication. Mein kya karoon Mala?"

"Come on Abhijit. The client has given me nine over ten for my performance. And you very well know that my client particulary praised my communication skills..."

"arre, Mala. Communication is just not about grammar and spelling. Your accent needs to be improved a lot. You tend to put on a heavy Indian accent, you know."

"Accent? But, you seem to forgetting too much. My client is Estonese and I converse with him in Estonese. And he is pretty impressed with my proficiency in that language."

"Baath woh nahi Mala. Just do you remember the presentation you made to your team? I heard many among the team were not able to follow you. You see what I mean?"

"Hahaha. What can I do if the team members can't understand English?"

"You see, you might know Estonese. But, its really of no use. Samjhaa?"

"So you mean knowing hindi or bengali or gujarati serves me well than knowing English?"

"Uggh... Tell me what other issues you have."

"Well, I have none expect that my compensation should have been higher considering that I have put in more than five years in the company and that I have completed my PCMMIX and MCDXIIA certification long back. Moreover, I have successfully completed the projects I have been given..."

"That exactly is the point, Mala. You always concentrate only on the work you are given. You got to take more initiatives. You get what I mean?"

"But, I have done a lot to streamline the processes and lowered the turnaround time. I have created process and role documentations so that transitions, if any, are smooth... and I have..."

"Mala. I think you still don't get what I say. You got to show more initiatives. You have to do something more than what you are expected to do."

"But, I think it would be easy if you can tell me what is expected from me before itself."

"Hahaha. Still, you need to learn a lot. Our expectations about you keep growing as you stay longer in the company. It is natural to expect more from experienced staff like you right?"

"Now, I understand. So you say what we can be given is fixed and then our performance goals are invented to support that?"

"You should take initiatives. Just see Hrithik. He took so much efforts to arrange for the caterer. Makes sure that we celebrate birthdays of our staff. I think you wouldn't forgotten the sandwiches he got for us on trip to Vizag... It was so good that I myself ate some three of them. You should show some enterprise like him... Catch my point?"

"Oh, I thought Hritik was our in-house caterer. Never knew he was a business analyst. And by the way, I think my question is still unanswered."

"Let's leave that aside. I think we have given you a hike of nearly one-third of your CTC. I think this is one of the highest. If you see, what you have got is just about a lakh less than your target. After all, a lakh after taxes just comes to about 6 to 7k on hand. So you have not missed much. Don't worry about such small things. Keep up the good work. Bonus is just a few months away."

"If it is so, tell me something. Would you take a pay cut of one lakh in your salary?"

"Are you mad?..."

"Yes, I am. To be working under you."


08:48:53 PM

"You know what. I fought so much for your promotion. Last week, we had discussions and I insisted on promoting you. You have been one of our top performers. You totally deserve it."

"But why should you fight in the first place?"

"Let me be frank with you. The client has been so impressed with your performance that he has agreed to expand to four additional roles. In fact, I should be thanking you."

"After all this, you plan to make up for the large hole in my pay packet with your big thanks, huh?"

"I know you have been very patient and have put in a lot of hard work for the company for so many years. But, I can't make for your lost years."

"Hahaha. Meaning you want me to stay here and remain a fool and get paid lower and lower than dumb and dumbers who joined after me?"

"Now. Don't make any hasty decisions. Don't let your hard work of all these years go waste. Continue to put in efforts as you have till now. I will fight for your on site client visit."

"Again, you have been fighting too much for me already. Don't waste your energy. You might need loads and loads of it at night."

08:59:10 PM

"You know tamil, right?"

"kunjam... kunjam theriyum..."

"Ippo naan velila ponathukkappuram enna velaya vittu thooki, inga enna nadanthuthu nu kaamichukkatha. Athu unakku thaan asingam"