Thursday, May 17, 2007

Kids???

Why do people go on having kids? Kids are the biggest demonstration of their egos. That is the “grandest” way to flaunt their egos. It is the favorite past time of human race. Kids are sure-fire means to kill time, which people have in plenty because of their lack of creativity. Since they feel too bored by being themselves, they “procreate” problems, which then go on to consume all their time.

Remember the Akbar-Birbal story, where the king draws a line and asks people to make shorter without rubbing it and Birbal draws a longer line next to it. In a similar vein, kids are the longer lines that make the problems of being with your spouse (assuming you are fooled into marriage) “appear” smaller. And it works fabulously! More often than not, it becomes a BIG inescapable trap that backfires on you both. And you spend the rest of your lives looking for better ways to deal with the trap!

This post sets out to show how surprisingly shorter the line is - without kids relative to the one with kids.

If you are one of those with enough intelligence not to be teachers/professors, then you are dead. If you are intelligent enough not to be a teacher, then obviously you would not waste your brains remembering inane stuff like science, biotech and history. You would rather use it to store important stuff like the Shakira’s ‘Hips don’t lie’ lyrics or Sharon Stone’s haunting dialogues from BI or Tyra Banks’ amazing statistics. So imagine how hard it would be to talk your kids to sleep, which teachers/profs can do so artfully to even a bunch of pranksters. Btw, was it Shrek who kissed The Sleeping Beauty out of her slumber?

If you can handle him/her even then – in the cradle, how will you be able to when he/she grows up to be more intelligent than you, which is inevitable by evolution?

When they drill you with their innumerous stupid questions, your super-intelligence will be of no avail. You can’t give a straight, logical answer (assuming you know it), for children are too stupid to understand your genius. This is what Thiruvalluvar, the famous Tamil sage poet said:

Thammintham makkal arivudaimai maanilathu
Mannuyirk kellaam inithu

This means Children who are more intelligent than parents are sources of happiness for the whole world. Except the parents. The whole world goes on laughing at you, while your own kid makes you look like a moron. So they drag you down to their level of stupidity. Over time, you become dumber and dumber to a point, where you forget you were intelligent before this brat was born.

With you getting dumber, they quickly take control your life – particularly the omnipotent TV remote, which you had been wielding till then to show who is in power. Nimmathiyaa nallathaa vaazhkaiku thevaiyaana naalu Namitha dance paaka mudiyaathu, naammalum ukkaanthu Power Rangers –Time Force, Pokemon nu paathu tholaikkanum. By taking over the TV, the only intelligent trusty companion you had in your house against the bully that your wife is, they make you lose your self-respect.

Before you realize, your wallet falls victim to “Pester Power”, apart from the “Pondaatti Power” that till then had had unquestioned authority over your hard-earned money. You become the dumb ATM of your house that gets punched day in and day out for money.

Moreover, you would have absolutely no control over your kids, who are now less idiotic than you. You can’t even have the happiness of giving them any advice for 1. they don’t need as your intelligence is now reduced to below their levels and also, 2. they would not care a damn.

So why would you want to create something that robs you of your time, happiness, self-respect and more than anything, money – the supreme power. So maapla, naan solratha nallaa kelu. Wear rubber. Save your self.

Vaazhkaiya yosingada, thala ezhutha nallaa vaasingadaa

Yosichu paarungadaa, ellaarum onna koodungada

Chennai 600028

P.S.

Whether the world is getting any more a safe place for children is a serious question. Think of what all they would be facing – sexual abuse, drugs and adverse climate changes (check out this interesting post). If you call these inane ramblings of an inexorable pessimist, think again. These issues are very much real and their incidence and prevalence are also on the rise. Generally, Indians are forced into having children right after marriage, which restricts them from exploring any further passions, including sex. Ithula “Kuzhantha kuttingala thavira vera enna irukku vaazhkaila?” nu kelvi vera. What worth is life without kids? It is high time many of us started seeking answer for that.

P.P.S.

1. Understand kids are statements of your BIG Egos. The apparent happiness you get from kids is from the satisfaction of your egos! That happiness is so individual, just like orgasms. You might have it or might not. Even if you have it, it would a short-lived one. And there are better, healthier ways to groom your egos.

Search out the ego in these: "En kooda padicha Annalaksmi-oda paiyyan evlo thuru thuru nu irukkan theriyumaa. Enakkum athu maathiri oru kutti paappa venum", "Enakkae enakkunnu oru jeevan", "My girl always gets first rank", "En ponnu periya singer, Vijay Super Singer la second round varaikkum vanthurukka!", "En paiyyan naan kilicha kotta thaanda maattan." And here is the winner: "Naalaikku enakku kolli poda oru paiyyan venaamaa." Adinga! Dei, kolli podrathukku Carbon Credits vaanguniyaa da?

2. Daddy! I Shrunk Your World: Your world gets shrunk to a pint sized, irrepressible brat. (assuming you have enough intelligence left to stop with one!)

3. Kids form costly and ineffective substitues for passions.

4. Kids are born out of fear.

5. Would you never learn from your parents' experiences? Don't you remember how your parents suffered because of you? Do you want something much more intense than that for you?

6. Kids give meaning to your life? BS. The meaning of life is what you give to it. So, give a better one!

15 comments:

Cool gal;-) said...

So dude... if i get to see you with ur kid in near future.... jus be ready to face me ;) guess u know wat i meant.... Preetha

murali said...

similar discussion..same conclusion as mine from your side...see in india
a) marriage is a ritual...
you need to be in it....
b) if you do not have kids in an year or two..only TEMPLES, DOCTORS and ASTROLOGISTS who will be earning because of you from the elders in your family...they never understand its upto the couple to decide when to have the child..it never works out that way in india....
c) For the lifestyle as in india..kids are needed atleast as a support in older age...at older age life is not the same in india like other countries where you can live on your own...

" Be as Romans when you are in Rome"
" Be an Emotional idiot when you are in India"...;)

sk said...

enakku oru unma therinjaaganum saami!
similar discussion?? with whom? athukkullaya? dei, ennada nadakkuthu? enna irunthaalum annan naan unakku munnadi irukken. ithellaam nallathukku illa sollitten.

Sara said...

Sk I never thought you could write this..

The basic instinct of every creation in this world is to procreate.

Look around all other organisms which may or may not have six senses!

Kids are just an extension to climax of orgasm ..I think you are correlating ethics or morality or the responsibility involved in raising kids rather than the natural insticts which drives everything in this world !!

sk said...

//The basic instinct of every creation in this world is to procreate.//
Is procreation basic instinct? Or the act that leads to it? Even if procreation is a basic instinct, does it need to be followed just because it is basic? Doesn't intelligence have any role?

//Kids are just an extension to climax of orgasm...//
Well, orgasm itself s a climax. and by definition orgasm/climax is essentially a shortlived one. So kids are results of it, not really extensions.

//I think you are correlating ethics or morality or the responsibility involved in raising kids rather than the natural insticts which drives everything in this world !!//
Its not about morality/ethics. It s about practicality - What do we really try to "achieve" by having kids? Well the very word "natural instinct" has been utterly misused. Dont you "thinking" also is just as "natural" to man/woman as sex is? So it is a question of a evolved/higher quality trying to assess the value of a basic instinct. when there seems to a high chance for my kid to be affected in a lot of ways as i said in the post, what is the "over-arching supreme goal" that i should satisfy by having a kid?

Sara said...

I am of the intelligence that the natural instinct of anything in this universe is to grow and evolve !!!.I dont think we can pick argument when the very premise of our arguments are different and hence the conclusions thereof would be quite different as well :)

sk said...

There you go again! Another string of apparently impressive but incorrigble polysyllables!

//I am of the intelligence that the natural instinct of anything in this universe is to grow and evolve !!!.//

Did you mean "idea"? Anyway, I think explanation of the basic quality of man is in order. As someone well read like you would know, the basic distinctive characteristic of man is reason - his ability to question. That exactly is what places you where you are. So it is not "unnatural" to "think" about "the basic" instinct.

My question is why can't we avoid the "results" while retaining the pleasurability? The decision to have kids has been out of habit and a lot of other considerations including economics (more income) and survival (more to fight-which places emphasis on a baby boy over a baby girl). As such a 'man of reason' like you would see, these reasons are much weaker than they used to be. That brings me to the next question - Is there any "emotional" satisfaction from having kids, as many told me after reading this post? And are we justified in having kids and leaving them in a world that is arguably worsening? Just a risk-return analysis.

//I dont think we can pick argument when the very premise of our arguments are different and hence the conclusions thereof would be quite different as well.//

Can't agree more. "Contradictions do not exist. Whenever you think you are facing a contradiction, check your premises. You will find that one of them is wrong." Ayn Rand

Priya said...

Veluthu kattureenga sk! I didn't expect such a post from you! Naan nenachatha ellaame intha post-la irukku. But you have written it only from the man's point of view. Innum ponnunga point of view vera irukke! Let's live our life for ourselves. Procreation is not a must, it's a choice.

sk said...

Thanks priya!
//Innum ponnunga point of view vera irukke!//
So i am expecting a long long post on this from you explaining those. Hope you do it sooner!

Usha said...

I am not going to appreciate this post - looks to be full of misconceptions :)) Kids aren't because of someone being ego-istic, it is purely out of choice. I'd think it is more coz of sentiments and emotions that form part of ur life. Indha madhiri outright-a kids are problems, ego-oda velippadu-nu solradhu unga rights-a irukalam, aana you cannot state that as a universal fact.

murali said...

//similar discussion?? with whom?
//athukkullaya?

neengathanae solli erukkenga..knowledge is wealth'nu..athu thaan knowledge sharing...nallathunu..naan unga thambi'na neenga sollara mathiri erukanumla..;)

// Kids aren't because of someone
// being ego-istic, it is purely
// out of choice. I'd think it is
// more coz of sentiments and
// emotions that form part of ur
// life.

In previous gen., whether the couple made choice to when to have child? If you say, they are making a choice, then why always make wrong one...
"if they cannot bring up the child healthily and happily..why at all they should have one...why they should suffer themselves for the choice that opted for...else they should not say 'i did this for you..that for you only...where kid itself is their choice..if you have made a choice never repent that'"

anand said...

dai maganey..appreciate your writing skills and amazing view points.
i like this piece "The whole world goes on laughing at you, while your own kid makes you look like a moron. So they drag you down to their level of stupidity. Over time, you become dumber and dumber to a point, where you forget you were intelligent before this brat was born"

BUT tell me the truth. how do you know all this?! you need to be one real experienced fella to talk abt all this. nejama sollu..engaluku theriyama edhanachum kalyanam pannitya?!!

Sowmya said...

Hey..

Amazing write up !. its all fact.No one can deny these lines, if they think about it deeply.

Hats off !! :)

R-ambam said...

S-Kool post!
blog rolled yours :)

SENTHILVELAN said...

Saravana, Kalakeetta