Thursday, June 12, 2008

டப்பாவதாரம்

OC-car producer is watching Sivaji on thiruttu vcd. On the TV screen, like a +2 tutorial teacher (Neengal +2 thervil failaa? Kavalai vendaam, engalidam vaarungal!!), Rajni explains how a black economy works and the evils of it. And a little later, he demos his ingenious plans to wash the black money white. This gets our producer to start thinking.

“Kai la karuppu panam vera jaasthiyaagiduchu… hmm enna pannalaam… Sivaji rangeku periya plan ellaam pottaa velaikaavathu… Odaatha padam eduthaa? Aaanaa... Anthaala vechu eduthaa epdi irunthaalum odidum… Vijay vechu eduthaa kooda rasigar mandrathula vasool panni ottiduvaanunga… enna pannarathu…” He calls his PA “Antha kolaignaniya konjam koopdu… vela iruku”.

O: Vaappaa… eppdi irukka. Unna vechu oru padam edukkalaam nu paakkuren.

K: Mikka magilchi. Aanaa budget Sivajiya vida perusa irukkanum. Appa thaan naan othukkuven.

O: Athellaam approm paakkalam. Un sambalam evlo sollu.

K: XXXX

O: Yeiii… ennappaa nee… nithaanathula thaan irukkiyaa… enna Avar rangeku kekkura… Etho irukka konjam karuppa vellai aakkalaam nu paathaa… nee enna mothathukkum mukkaadu poda vechuruva pola irukkae…

K: Enna koduma sir ithu… vitha vithamaa naalu wig maatitu nadanthu varrathukkae avlo kaasu vaangaraaru… naan ennoda pechu, moochu, mmm aprom en jatti baniyan nu ellaathayum kalaikkunnae vechu vaalkaiya nadathittu varren… naan kekkarathula enna thappu…

O: Oora yemaathara mathiri enna yemaatha nenaikkaatha… free madi… irunthaalum nee kekkarathu romba athigam…

K: Sir, venumnaa naan 10 role la nadikkaren.. mathavangalukku kudukkara kaasu koraiyum la… oru role ku ivlo nu neengala oru amount pottu kudunga…

O: Hmmm… ennappa nee ippdi kodairiyae… ethukku theva illaama 10 role pannanum…

K: Sir, ithu sonnaa ungalukku puriyaathu… oru kalaignaa irunthu paarunga… Anthaalu summaa wig-a maattitu vanthu nadanthaale atha paakkarathukku neeyaa naanaa nu adichukkaraanunga muttaa pasanga… naan nadanthaa paakkarathukku oru naai illa… ippdi naalu balti adichaaa thaan super actor nu othukkuvaanga…

O: Appaa saami…. Aala vudu… sari 10 role pannra… eppdi vithiyaasam kaatuva… paathaa kandu pudichuda maattangalaa?

K: Athellaam enakku ithu maathiri sir…

O: Yeii… ennappaaa nee.. mariyatha illaama hair mathiri nu sollitta… un kalai avlo thaana?

K: Athu appdi illa, Sir. Different permutation, combination pottu hair-a mathuna pothum.. 10 enna 100 role pannuven… kudumi vechu oru vesham, mottai adichu onnu, mottai adichu mukkaadu pottu onnu, karuppu wig vechu onnu… white wig vechu onnu… btw neenga inum konjam periya budgetaa pottu English padam edukkaren nu sollunga… red, pink, gold, green nu wig maathi maathiyae pala role panniduven…

O: Illa illa, naan tamil padamae pannren… unna vechu tamil naattula otta mudiyuthaa nu paathuttu apromaa mathathellaam try pannalaam… aamaa white wig vechu thaan neraya pannitiyae…

K: Inga thaan periya twist. Intha thadava white wig vechu, coat suit pottu Bush rangela varra poren… appdiyae namma mallikava romance pannren… Iyer kudumi vechuttu apdi pannaa tensionaagiduvaanga makkal…

O: yaaru Autograph la varumae… antha ponnaa? Avala kooda vittu vekka maatiyaa nee?

K: Sir, illa sir. Naan sonnathu Mallika Sherawat.

O: Athu irukka rangeku athu vera overaa kekkumae… unna vida jaasthiya avalukku kudukkanumae

K: Appdinaa venaa ennoda 10 role la 8 role ku mattum pay pannunga… 2 role free… Antha ponnu full padathukku kooda venaam sir… chinna Bit role pottruvom…

O: Bit roleaa? Un kalai aarvatha nenachaa romba perumaiyaa irukku…

Mid way through the shooting…

O: Ennappa eppa thaan mudippa… ippa odittu irukkarathu ellaaam kadan vaangi potta kaasu… konjamaavathu padam odanum… illa naan gaali…

K: Enna Sir neenga… kavala padaatheenga.. ungalukku technique-ae puriya maattenguthu… 10 role pannrom nu solittom… satttu puttu nu wig-a maathi seekiram eduthu mudichuttom naa sandhegam varaathu? Athaan, varusha kanakkula kashtappattu eduthurukkom nu buildup kudukkanum la

O: Athukku nu evlo naal thaan buildup layae ottitu irukkarathu…

K: Mudichuduvom Sir…

O: ippa vera IPL season odittu irukku… atha nenachaale allu vuduthu… Atleast athu mudinja udanae release panniduvom… illa Kuselan vanthudum…

K: Athunaala enna…

O: Athu vanthuchunnaa aprom namma padam odrathu kashtam.. oothikuchunaa avlo thaan… Manithanai manithan nesi.. anbae sivam nu dialogue vittutu padam ellaam edutha… athellaam summaavaa? Ivlo kaasu potta enakkaaga konjam kooda kavala pada maattengara?

K: Hahahaahahhaahaha…. Pazhamozhi sonna anubavikkanum… aaraya koodaathu..

O: Hmm… en thalai ezhuthu… yaar yaar kitta ellam anubavikkanum nu irukku... btw athu ennayaa paattu... kaari thupparaanga... ivlo kaasu pottu eduthu yen nalla music director kitta kudukkala nu kekkaraanga...

K: Neenga kudukkara kaasu wig vaangarathulayum, climax-kaaga thanni vaangiyumae mudinju pochu... nalla music director kitta ponaa neraya kaasu keppaanungalae.. ippa kooda onnum illa... innum konjam kaasu kudunga... nalla musicaa pottruvom...

O: Oru padathukku ethana thadava kaasu vaanguveenga... Naan enna manushanaa.. illa machineaa...

K: Hahhaha... Comedy pannaatheenga Sir... en pada dialogue enaake solreengala... athula vera situation la varum athu...

O: Ingayum athu thaane nadakkuthu...

K: Aprom release date June 13, Friday vechuduvom..

O: Aiyooo…. Raasi illatha naal ache Sir…

K: Enakku theriyaathaa? Naan yerkanavae Black shirtkaaran nu oru image maintain panni vechrukken.. so atha maintain pannanum… neenga romba kavala padaaatheenga… padathukku perae perumal edutha avatharamaa vechurukkom.. pathaa koraikku, padathula vera perumaalayae naan thaan kaappaathurengaraengara mathiri scene vechurukkom… ellaam naan kumbudura perumal paathuppaar… neenga poi nimmathiyaa thoongunga…

O: Perumaalae.. perumaalae…

K: One sec Sir. Hello… Make up man, ayyaakku nethila perusaa 111 podu… illa illa en kitta kudu… naanae pottu viduren.. Ippdiyae sollittae ponga Sir… Padathukku nalla velambaram kedaikkum.

O: ……

P.S:

Ivar nalla padam nadikkiraar endraal atharkkaga sandhosappadubavargalil naanum oruvan. Athae samayam, ivar mokka padathil nadikkiraar endraal atharkkaga kaduppaabavargalilum naan oruvan. Engeyoo kettaa maathiri irukku la.. ;)

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

Youv.. padam ooduthu oodala appdingrathu secondary. Unkae too much-a illa ne compare panni irukrathu.... Ennaikavthu maatamala poiduvinga. :x

Unknown said...

Exactly kp... padam odrathu odaathathu secondary... btw eppdi irunthaalum oralavukku odidum... trailera paathaale therila entha rangeku irukkum nu... seriousaa i think he desperately try to do a Sivaji and failed pathetically... Interesting story, then 10 roles ellaam just ululaaikku... It s just a ego-clash... puliya paathu poonai sudu pottutta katha...

KRTY said...

SK, Hi. First time here.
And commenting here, because of dasavatharam.

I laughed out loud, well may be not for the post, but for the comment.
"Kamal desparately tries to do a Sivaji" is the joke.

Keep them coming.